Posted October 16, 2012 by monkeywithamonocle

  In the internet shopping world only the strong can survive. In this dusty post apocalyptic landscape there are only a few shining strongholds left coveting their precious resources and setting up complex pre-pubescant death matches where everyone is apparently hungry, (see what I did there?) the strongest, if not the most fabulously crafted from […]

(+2 rating, 2 votes)
Posted October 7, 2011 by Laura

Top 10 Casting Close Calls Hollywood is known for its great decision making. For example, giving Michael Bay $200 million to make anything, putting Jay Leno on at 10 PM and Jack Nicholson leaving Roman Polanski alone in a hot tub. Or the entirety of J.Lo’s film career. So when it comes to casting, Hollywood […]

(+2 rating, 2 votes)
Posted September 26, 2011 by phil
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or “How I Finally Got Rid Of The Strange Man In Detroit That Wouldn’t Stop Sending Me Flirtacious Text Messages”

(+2 rating, 2 votes)
Posted September 15, 2011 by monkeywithamonocle

Sept 16, 2011|By Mike Matola [] Moviegoers this week are succumbing to a disturbing trend after the release of Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star. Many people who have paid to see the film are experiencing what doctors have termed “Bucky Larson Blues” as they try to cope with the depression of  such a […]

(+1 rating, 3 votes)
Posted September 8, 2011 by monkeywithamonocle

(Or: Whoa whoa whoa…chill…just hear me out.) If you take every Disney villain and invite them to a shit-pie pot luck dinner in the  Mos Isley space port and multiply that party from hell by 666,666,666 you might get just a fraction of the evil that is the Westboro Baptist Church [WBC]. Now if you’re […]

(+1 rating, 5 votes)
Posted September 2, 2011 by Space Danger Stick

(Formerly titled: Jim Carrey And The Sorcerer’s Stone.) Last week psycho-comedic mastermind Jim Carrey dropped his now infamous Emma Stone love letter video on the world. No matter the effect that was intended, there was no warning for the backlash it would inevitably have, personally and externally. If you were out hiking, living a life, […]

(+4 rating, 4 votes)
Posted August 26, 2011 by monkeywithamonocle

(Or: My 16 inch journey from my couch to the front door that might as well have been from the Shire to Mordor.) Ugh. I needed to start running again. It had become the bane of my existence. It is quite possibly the best and easiest exercise anyone can do and yet I hate it. […]

(+2 rating, 2 votes)
Posted August 19, 2011 by monkeywithamonocle

“Music today sucks.” You’ve heard people say it, hell, you’ve muttered it a few times to yourself while flipping through radio stations (for those of you too young to remember, radio is like a podcast that only plays the same three songs over and over again and feels the need to tell you what time […]

(+2 rating, 2 votes)
Posted August 12, 2011 by monkeywithamonocle

If the film industry has taught us anything, it’s that it is extremely difficult and damn near impossible to have an original idea. In fact, department of homeland security has recently trained German Shepards to smell new ideas in passengers arriving at LAX and attack their genitals. Mostly as a deterrent to the other passengers […]

(+4 rating, 4 votes)
Posted August 5, 2011 by monkeywithamonocle

Everyone is well aware of and acquainted with the glorious and scenic country of New Zealand, home of such exports as The Lord Of The Rings, The Flight Of The Concords, and the fantastic furry fruit, the kiwi. But just off the coast of New Zealand is a little known island where the deserts are […]

(+1 rating, 1 votes)
Posted July 28, 2011 by monkeywithamonocle

(or: All Over Your Face by Garfunkel and Oates is funny and you should get it.) Born from the loins of cosmic inspiration, the Muses looked down upon man and granted him an alternative idea that was so radical, so new, so misunderstood it could only be called one thing: art. But universe could not […]

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Posted July 21, 2011 by monkeywithamonocle

Have you ever had a secret but were surrounded by such a crippling wall of self doubt and insecurity that  your only outlet was you write it down on a piece of paper, mail it to a website and have them post it on the internet for the whole world to see? You have? Well […]

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Posted July 15, 2011 by monkeywithamonocle

 (or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bob-omb)   In the 1980’s a young Shigeru Miyamoto created a small and heroic plumber by the name of “Jumpman” to battle the dastardly Donkey Kong on his girders of doom. And in that deadly maze of vertical metal Jumpman discovered his first power-up ever: […]

(+2 rating, 2 votes)
Posted July 7, 2011 by monkeywithamonocle

Truths in Star Wars even George Lucas missed (Part II) Back in the 70’s and 80’s George Lucas wrote possibly one of the most epic and richly archetypal story about the eternal battle of good versus evil ever. Twenty years later he would go on to write the prequels to said epic story. He quickly […]

(+4 rating, 4 votes)
Posted June 30, 2011 by monkeywithamonocle

In the past thirty-four years Star Wars has gone from the small fledgling science fiction film that even the studios thought was, well, dumb to the self sustaining ever growing behemoth of a universe that can nurture your inner child like a mother koala that is Empire Strikes Back or tear your dreams apart like […]

(+4 rating, 6 votes)