Posted July 21, 2011 by monkeywithamonocle

Have you ever had a secret but were surrounded by such a crippling wall of self doubt and insecurity that  your only outlet was you write it down on a piece of paper, mail it to a website and have them post it on the internet for the whole world to see? You have? Well then you already know all about postsecret.com: the ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard or as it is also known as “the place where crazy people and budding writers/ graphic designers can flex their creative muscles to create deceptively deep postcards that ultimately mean nothing to anyone.”

Do you want your fifteen milliseconds of internet fame but you don’t have the tortured inner soul it takes to get it? Do you want to influence millions of people on the internet anonymously but don’t have the stomach for 4-chan? Don’t let that stop you! Just follow these easy steps and you’ll be sipping beer with the likes of Bukowski Perez Hilton in no time.

 

 

Once you get the idea you can insert as many different phrases, adjective, adverbs and/or nouns that you like. If you really want to get artsy insert some dicey societal hot topics such as:

-being gay

not being gay

-knowing that you knew then that you’d know now

-abortion

But sending it to the website doesn’t mean it will get posted. So what do you do?  Post it on Facebook and see how many comments you can get! It’s easy and you can immediately see how well you did by following this simple score chart. Instant gratification.

1 comment- 1 point

3 comments- 5 points

10+ comments- 50 points

Pretentious rant- 100 points

Ignorant pretentious rant- 200 points

Hitler reference – 500 points

That’s 806 points right there. Do you think you’re tortured enough to beat it?

 

Does no one really get you? Is My So Called Like totally about you and you don’t know why they canceled it because is was TOTALLY the best show on television? Well then check out monkeywothamonocle’s other posts 4 Mario Power-Ups I Wish I Had In Real Life and Truths In Star Wars Even George Lucas Missed
Post your incredibly inferior opposing viewpoints and/or your well thought out and finely crafted appreciation below; OR contact the primate himself at monkeywithamonocle@gmail.com and follow him on twitter @mikematola

 

 

 

 

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©hungryzoo, 2011